Darktouch
by Shadow over Egypt
Summary: Sometimes the sanest thing to do was go mad. # -Zorc x Yami Bakura- #


**Shadow:**For the final of Season Four of Compy's contest. The pairing this time is Zorc x Yami Bakura, which we've dubbed Pal/Laddershipping. (And it's true - the contest hostess is officially mad, and _evil_, bless her. X3)

**Notes: **Er…yaoi/shonen-ai, which means boy x boy. Squints of Heartshipping – Yugi Mouto x Ryou Bakura, and Rivalshipping – Yugi Mouto x Seto Kaiba. This is marked _horror _for a reason (though I really think it's quite mild by my standards). If any of this bothers you, **don't read.**

* * *

**Darktouch**

_He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you._

- Friedrich Nietzsche

* * *

**Thirty-third day of observation:**

**Upon awaking the patient was calm, ****quite in contrast to his mood the previous day upon being forced to rest. It has been suggested his sedation be increased, but his irrational behaviour has yet to reach a constant where the action is necessary. Outbursts are still quite infrequent, and sedation would lower his ability to participate in some forms of therapy. **

**The patient is progressing as scheduled, and went to rest today without extra medications being forcibly administered. He appeared somewhat agitated without the sedation, but it is doubtful this is an exhibition of abnormal behaviour – merely childish excitement, or anticipation. His friend is due to visit him tomorrow. **

* * *

He walked down the corridor with the two guards at his side, trying so very hard not to look at anything or anyone in particular. He'd been warned against it upon signing in to the institute – some of the patients housed within grew antagonistic at the slightest flicker of a glance their way, and others could fly into sudden fits and rages. There was the sound of distant wailing in the background somewhere, screaming. Yugi tried to tune them out, as he'd been advised to.

"_It's best to be on the safe side, ne?" _The receptionist had smiled at him as she waved his accompanying guards over after checking the paperwork was correct, and he'd found the action somewhat disturbing considering the nature of her earlier warning - _'Be careful not to get your eyes gouged out and have a nice day!' _

He heard the feet before he saw him, heard the surprised squawks of his attendants which he tried to calm as he looked up, automatically smiling, stepping forward and away from the guards with arms automatically outstretched because friendship was automatic with some people - you just couldn't help yourself. The body impacting with him was warm, the hands that involuntarily flew around the newcomer's waist encountering a soft waterfall of hair that had still never been cut, that still fluffed up and framed a familiar elfin face, a delighted smile.

"_Yugi." _

"Ryou."

And the two friends embraced as friends do when they haven't seen one another for half a year.

Ryou stepped back first, still smiling, taking the other's hands. "It's so good to see you." His skin was still pale, so pale, and the loose white shirt and trousers he wore did nothing to hide the fact. "I'm so happy you're here."

The guards caught up with them. Yugi smiled back at his albino friend. "It's good to see you too."

* * *

_Rue the man that made the mirror. If I could I'd smash all the glasses of the world, force their fool creator to drink all the glittering shards until his throat was too shredded to swallow any more. __Curse the mirror; damn the torturer who sent me to a house made of mirrors, locking me in the confines of a hallway of mirrors, each glass a different image of myself but each image with the same message on its lips:_

"_You failed."_

_Fail. Fail. _Fail.

* * *

The two young men walked down the corridor together, one vibrant and colourful against the institute's neutral grey, the other pale as snow.

"How was your journey?" Ryou was all smiles for his companion, walking cheerily at the other male's side. The two guards accompanying them kept shooting the youth suspicious looks, as if they couldn't quite understand his sudden sweet temperament, but they remained silent, shadows trailing their footsteps. "Was it a long drive?" The background screaming, words so distant they didn't make sense, didn't affect him at all.

"Not unbearably so." Yugi was almost chuckling at the near childish enthusiasm radiating off of his friend, Ryou all but bouncing as they went along, heading for the albino's room. "How have you been here? I know we've spoken via letter but…"

It was like a jug of icy water had been thrown over Ryou, so visible was the dampening reaction of Yugi's words on the pale youth beside him. "…It's…" brown eyes skittered to the side, not looking at purple, "…it's…" words rose, fell, died a swift, sorrowful death. "It's bearable, most days. And the days it isn't, I'm usually sedated so I can't feel them anymore."

"Ryou…" Yugi raised a hand to lay it consolingly on the other's shoulder.

_It's for your own good, isn't it? Isn't it?_

_No it's not, not, _not.

Ryou shook the hand off slowly, a fluid movement of his shoulder that left it less off a brush-off and more of an acceptation that things were just as they were.

_As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shalt be –_

The two of them had come to a standstill in the middle of the corridor, smiles painful streaks that cut into their cheeks, dripping off their faces when confronted by this dying comfort, this plain awkwardness that hung like glass sheets between them.

Despite himself, Yugi found his eyes slipping past the other, unable to meet brown defiance, gaze sliding to the window showing the ward behind the albino, across the rows of beds with the rows of patients, backs arched against the restraints, frames almost a perfect bow, eyes and hands clenched shut, mouths open in silent screams. "Wha-" He drew a breath, looked aside. This was the house for the insane; society looked aside. He felt guilty for not visiting Ryou sooner. The background screams began to irritate. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Ryou waved the apology off and they began walking again, heading for the man's room. "You get used to it." He didn't specify what he had adjusted to.

Yugi looked down at the round, concentrating on the movement of his feet, the sound of his footfall on the floor. "When is it quiet here?" There had to be a quiet time – right?

Ryou's lips quirked in a mirthless smile; Yugi saw it and frowned when he looked up once more. They both knew what the King of Games meant. "The screaming never stops."

* * *

**Thirty-****seventh day of observation:**

**The patient's medication has been lowered, due to a sudden compliance he has developed towards staff and other inmates. It seems to be his friend's influence – the patient seems more cheerful now with company of someone he is clearly fond of. The friend visits him daily, and they spend the time talking together, occasionally being observed playing some of the institute's collection of board and card games.**

**This type of social interaction should be encouraged.**

* * *

"Checkmate."

Ryou looked down at the chess board between him and Yugi in vague disgust. "…Again?" A faint note of incredulity laced his voice. "This is the sixth time! In a row!"

Yugi stretched his hands above his head, easing the kinks out of his back. When he lowered his arms again his expression was sheepish. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise," Ryou was laughing, reaching over to remove the last pieces from the board tidying up, "you can't help it, damn you." His cursing was a friendly mocking. Yugi caught his wrist, stopping the other male just as the albino had picked up his last piece, the checkmated black king, to put away. "Yugi…?"

His friend took the king with his other hand, turning Ryou's palm so it faced up, fingers wavering in the other youth's grip. "Your fingertips are burned." Inquiring purple sought brown. "How?"

Ryou snatched his hand back, affronted. "It's none of your business." He cradled the stolen limb to his chest, gaze accusing as it looked at Yugi. "You shouldn't ask about inconsequential things."

"You wouldn't be so protective over something inconsequential." Yugi was frowning. "And you wouldn't usually snap at me. Aren't I your friend?"

"…Of course, Yugi I -" Ryou looked a little guilty, cheeks tingeing faintly rose, "it was a silly accident. I tried to pick up something hot and my skin…" He shrugged. "It's such a stupid way to hurt oneself – I guess I'm defensive because I find it embarrassing."

Yugi nodded understandingly and left it at that, but on his way out of the institute he stopped a passing doctor, asking after his friend's injury.

"An accident?" The doctor looked confused when Yugi mentioned what Ryou had said. "No, he did that himself – snatched a lighter off of an orderly and deliberately put his fingers in the flame. He's damaged all the nerves in his fingers of his right hand; we're not sure if they'll heal or not."

"Did he say why…?"

"He said the water scared him more – he could see himself in it."

Yugi nodded, thanking the doctor, and left, thinking.

* * *

_In this hallway of mirrors, in this roundabout array of reflections, one mirror stands out above all the others. I spend my hours before it, before the unique mirror, the only mirror with a changing image. I call it my looking-glass, for through it I can see everything I currently don't have. _

_I like to look through the looking-glass, and see what's on the other side__, even when I know what awaits me there. The boy – I thought I'd gotten rid of him. The foolish boy…I find it ironic he 'survived' beyond me, the one who strived most for survival. I hate the little brat. I hate him as he lives in a land outside my mirrored prison, lives in a land where he can do what he want if he would only hide himself away more –_

_I hate him. I hate a lot of things._

* * *

They sat peacefully together, Yugi staring out of the window while Ryou sat cross-legged on a chair opposite him, flipping wearily through a book.

"I've been coming here about a week now…right?"

Ryou didn't glance up from his book, although he'd already read it three times, and could almost recite the rather predictable ending by heart. "Yes."

Yugi persisted in his questioning. "And you told me people come and go here regularly, right?"

"That is what I've been told." A page was turned.

"…Then…how come I've never seen anyone leave?"

"Yugi," the albino finally looked up, "you've only been coming here a _week."_

"Still-!"

The paler of the two of them sighed, and shut the dull novel. "…Fine. Yugi…I will admit - I've yet to see anyone get 'better' here." Ryou looked a little lost. "Plenty have gotten worse though, reduced to little more than babbling wrecks strapped down to beds. Of course they couldn't leave in that state."

"The tragic case of those left with madmen eventually going mad...?"

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Yugi." Ryou's tone was dry. Yugi flushed, mumbling a quick apology, realising he could've offended his friend. "But yes, I suppose your analogy is correct." He moved to shift his long hair back over his shoulder, as some had fallen in front with his movement, but Yugi's sudden stare made him pause mid-way. "What? What now?"

"Your eyes…" The comment was little more than a soft breath, Yugi utterly struck.

"Mm?" Ryou was vaguely inquiring, but more exasperated.

"You eyes…around the edges…they're going _grey."_

"…It's probably just tiredness." The albino waved it off. "I don't sleep all that well naturally."

"Ryou, I really don't think -"

"It's _tiredness, _Yugi, really." A tight smile. "Don't worry about nothing."

There was a long quiet. "…I need to go."

"So soon?" Ryou's tone was light but unreadable – mocking or melancholy, it was impossible to say which. "You've been here but two hours."

"Work…" Yugi gestured vaguely, letting his excuse drift and die in the air. "I'm rather busy at the moment. I can't come visit for the next few days either."

"Oh." Another pause, this time on his friend's behalf. The two carefully not-stared at one another, gazes finding the floor and walls deeply interesting. "Right."

Ryou was looking down when Yugi left, so he only knew he was alone when the door clicked shut after the other had gone.

* * *

_I occasionally stray from the looking-glass, moving to glare at the endless row of mirrors with their endless row of faces. They're all me but they don't all _look _like me – one's psyche takes many different guises, I've been told. And then there was the fact I've been broken down and fixed up in all manner of places, spirit slipping from host to idiotic, unfortunate host, tainting and twisting and leaving my pretty crimson mark behind. _

_I have many different names – it's amusing watching those who would stand against me flounder, their mouths agape in the midst of their fury, scrambling for the title that would best fit me. The One who watches over me – He has given me His name to stand beside my own. He's given me His name and taken me into Himself and put Himself into me until –_

_We are I. I am We. _

_I can't help but smile at the row of mirrors and they stop their endless tirade when I do so, pressing themselves to the other side of the glass, reaching out to try and touch through their transparent barriers. Are all the parts to me and Him locked up in our own little worlds? If my will is done – oh –_

_I raise my hand to a mirror; watch the false reflection raise their hand to the other side to match me. Imperfect image, but so, so right. We are I. I am We. _

_I've been told it's narcissistic to love oneself. _

_I guess I must be a narcissist then._

* * *

**Fort****y-first day of observation:**

**The patient awoke distressed, and refused to be calmed until sedation was administered. Awakening a second time, a few hours later, sedation was required again.**

**An alteration to the patient's medication may be required.**

* * *

_Even others outside the Hallway of Mirrors can be disturbed, apparently. Through the looking-glass I can see the other asleep, smooth face lined with frowns and the glitter of tears. No rest for the wicked child, and what wicked things he must have done for his sleep to be disrupted so. Even white knights can have black souls…_

_Can he hear my whispers? I think so, even if it is only as a half-dreamt whisper of a half-forgotten thought of whom only the very wingtip brushes against his mind. I can see the unease flicker across his face, the downward-pull at the corners of his lips, and in his slumber he stirs, tightens in upon himself in ill-concealed distress. I wonder what visions chase him into bittersweet oblivion…what nightmare phantoms lurk behind those coal-black lashes.__ My Ryou is black and white, even if he's dressed in the shades of grey society demands. _

_Poor boy. Poor _stupid _child. They've locked him up and tamed him out of spite and fear, and they curse and he curses and at the end of it all we'll see who hurts the most, shall We? For there shall be none of us left We think, We will it so –_

_He's moving again, grimacing as I speak aloud, as words echo around me, all the reflections mumbling, mumbling, words tripping and stumbling around and around. He pulls that expression still, that grimace? I could've sworn I crushed it out of him long ago – he's lost the learning I gave him, fallen back to that doe-eyed stupidity, naivety to be crushed underheel._

_He _whimpers_. Pathetic. Stupid boy, doesn't he know? Isn't he aware? We're in my Wonderland now – welcome -; we're all mad here._

* * *

He couldn't sleep. Yugi was tired, weary beyond belief, exhausted after a hard day's work and yet – he was so _restless. _Every time he went to rest in bed he found himself kicking off his sheets, his covers, twisting about to get comfortable and only ending up hot and frustrated, glaring at the mattress, the ceiling, the wall.

It felt like someone was chattering away inside his skull, but he just couldn't hear the conversation.

So – walking. Shrugging on a shirt, jeans, a jacket to ward off the chill because it was so _very _late at night and technically morning but that didn't matter because it was still dark, and it wouldn't be light for quite some time. He went to the park, walking around the fountain for a while, watching how the lights bordering the park paths reflected in the puddles the fountain's splashing made on the ground. The liquid light looked like dancing fire, ripples spreading and twining when tiny droplets of water touched them, when tiny drips of cold hit the back of Yugi's neck when he sat, still tied, on the fountain's edge.

It was peaceful. The sound of the night breeze, the wind through the trees, the soft tinkle and splash of water at his back. There was no traffic in Domino at that hour, really. No sane person should be awake at that hour.

Yugi's eyes drifted shut, lulled into drowsiness by the lullaby of the park at night. Perhaps the walk had been what he had needed, the sit-down afterwards to coax him into sleep –

He was jerked from his half-slumber by cold hands grabbing him sharply about the neck, barely giving him the time to let out a cry before he was being dragged backwards into the fountain, his head forced under the tinkling water. The fountain's pool wasn't deep, but it was more than enough for Yugi's head to be completely submerged, to cover him while he thrashed and kicked and clawed at the hands still holding him down. The fountain's pool wasn't deep, but it more than deep enough for Yugi to drown in.

His assailant…Yugi couldn't see his face, her face, didn't know _who…_or why, for that matter and – his hands – he could feel himself getting weaker from lack of air, his lungs bursting and his precious, precious air bubbles escaping to the surface one by one by one –

He remembered Ryou suddenly, stupidly, thinking of the youth's burned hands and abruptly wanting a lighter, candles, a _flamethrower _to evaporate all this stupid water that was going to make him die. Give him fire, burning fire, and never – never –

Yugi slid into death with a white-haired man in mind.

* * *

_I like the darkness, always have done ever since I was a young child eons ago. I was brought up in a village of thieves and criminals, and learned quickly to appreciate the darkness I could slide into, the darkness that would wrap itself around me and hurry me home. _

_Children see the truth better than adults can. If you want to know the nature of something you don't need the sun's light to reveal it – the nature of something lies only in its shadow. Children, wise children, fear darkness, for the truth seeps out then and coils around them, tightening, tightening until their ribs are crushed beneath the oppressive weight of it all. It's why boys and girls grow up – those that remain as children too long go completely insane. _

_There are the rare exceptions – there always are. _I _was one, because I didn't fear what came to me when night fell; I called the darkness my home. (And He saw me, and saw the potential within me, and He guided me when I was young in years – but not in mind and rage, no never there – so that I was never lost. He gave me sanctuary and oblivion, and a place to hide my grief. He gave me purpose, and Our purposes collided over time.) _

_The one who was my face for the longest time was also an exception. He was a child in soul if not in heart and mind and body – he was born with an innocent soul, and it ruined him. For those born innocent, those born children…ah, they see the truth, and it may take forever, but they will go mad. The truth – what others cannot see. Poor idiot._

_When you are born…the world is new. When you newly come into life from darkness, you can see the darkness so much _better _than anyone else. And if my will is that the children will see the truth-_

_I know that it is good, because__ He told me it was so._

* * *

**Forty-third day of observation:**

**The patient is clearly disturbed, and restless. Medication was forcibly administered when he broke the mirror in the bathroom adjoining his private ward, and physically harmed himself with one of the shards. **

**The wound has been treated, but the patient has been strapped down to his bed for his own safety, and the safety of those caring for him. **

* * *

He came to with a start, eyes snapping open and immediately darting around the room he was in, taking in the luxurious bed, the walls with paintings and sketches on. Kicked back the sheets in one movement, tried to rise –

"What do you think you're doing?"

Yugi froze, half-out of the bed he'd been lying in. He didn't know where he was but that voice – he turned slightly, taking in the frowning brunet he stood on the opposite side on his bed. "…_Kaiba?" _Had the CEO been watching him sleep or – _what_?

"Mouto." Kaiba nodded at him cordially, taking careful note of the other's tenseness, how one hand was gripping the bedsheets so tightly – "You might want to relax a little – if you hold that posture for too long you'll probably break something."

Yugi twisted around fully, ignoring the advice. "Where am I?"

"My manor."

"How did I get here?" Last Yugi remembered he'd been in the park, in the fountain, _drowning –_

"…You don't remember?" Kaiba actually sounded vaguely curious. "You were conscious before I called my medics there."

_- Blurry light, the lamps lighting the path, yelling, blue eyes, shadowed, brown hair, a furious frown, worry in that voice, something stinging his face -_

It clicked into place, the last piece of the Puzzle. "You _hit _me!"

Kaiba snorted. "It figures that would be the bit you recall."

"But…" Yugi paused, his eyes slightly unfocused, "you…you saved my life?" Kaiba looked to the side, clearly awkward. "Why?"

"…You owe me a rematch."

Yugi _tch_ed, not believing the excuse, but changed the subject as the other obviously wanted. "What were you doing in the park at that hour?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Kaiba retorted. "What were _you _doing in the park at that hour, and how did you end up in the fountain?"

Slowly: "I went for a walk to try and help me sleep, and someone attacked me."

"Did you see who-?"

"No."

"Are you going to report it?"

"No – what would I say?" Yugi shrugged, having rapidly come to a decision. "'Someone attempted to drown me but I have no idea who it was or why they did it, sorry'?"

"Mouto, someone didn't just 'attempt' to drown you – they _succeeded." _Kaiba was outright scowling by that point, arms folded across his chest. "You were good and dead when I found you floating face-down in that fountain; someone actually managed to kill you. You should report it."

Wonderingly: "…Does it count as murder if I'm resuscitated…?"

Kaiba looked at the other as if he were mad.

* * *

_Darkness is contagious__ – didn't you know? It swirls around a set point, an epicentre, slipping from place to place by means of a host. It spreads, and soon everyone's infected, everyone has just that bite of shadow in them that's just –_

_Once you've been tainted by darkness, the mark it leaves behind never washes away._

* * *

He saw them, the shadows flickering at the edges of his sight as he went about his day-to-day life, the grinning blobs who danced away out of direct view, mocking him. The shadows, with red coals for eyes, gaping mouths filled with rows upon endless rows of wickedly glittering teeth.

Yugi didn't know why he was seeing them all of a sudden, but they were disturbing him.

He went to go see Ryou, keeping his head low as he went through the institute. The screaming that had so bothered him when he'd first come to visit had stopped. He didn't want to know what could make the screaming stop. There was a bad feeling in his gut, and he somehow knew he didn't want to look up. He didn't know why but –

He just knew he didn't want to look up.

"You might be in for a surprise…" A nurse caught his hand before he could enter Ryou's room. "We've had some difficulties with him these past few days."

"What-?"

"It'd be best if you saw for yourself."

Yugi went in. Yugi was dutifully surprised.

Ryou…was strapped down to his bed, gazing blankly at the ceiling. Ryou was strapped down to his bed, gazing blankly at the ceiling with _one _eye. The other eye – his left one – was covered with gauze, white material going red around the edges from some liquid that was –

_That's blood. _Yugi stared.

The crimson liquid ran down Ryou's cheeks as if his blood were tears, trails of sticky scarlet sharply cutting that porcelain face in two.

"…Ryou…you did this to yourself?" What had he done – attempt to gouge out his own eye? _Why?_

Silence, Ryou ignoring him, still looking upwards, as if he could see through the ceiling, through the many floors above it to the sky.

"Ryou."

Still no reply.

"_Ryou, _why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Slowly, Ryou's head tilted towards him. Slowly. And the crimson tears slid faster, staining the white pillow case beneath the albino's head. One grey eye – all brown vanished – looked at Yugi fixedly. Tiredness? Yugi didn't _think _so. Ryou was colourless, save for the proof on his face he still bled red. "I didn't want to see."

"See?" Yugi seized on the comment. "See _what_?"

There was a long silence again.

"Can't you see them too?"

He said no more the rest of the time Yugi was there. Yugi left the institute in a hurry, spooked.

* * *

**Forty-fifth day of observation:**

**The patient is refusing to speak to anyone, and has to be hand-fed. He gazes blankly at the ceiling all day, showing little sign of life.**

**Unlike the others before him, he hasn't started screaming. Yet.**

* * *

_The idiot has gone quiet. The other fool has gone running for comfort. The comfort is a pretty wolf in lamb's clothing, and I smile at a part of him in one of my mirrors. Once upon a time he was torn in two for wanting two things, and want is a dangerous thing._

* * *

"You know when I said 'make yourself at home' I didn't expect you to take it so literally?"

Yugi glanced up from where he'd been rifling through what was apparently Kaiba Mokuba's film collection (Yugi sorely doubted Kaiba was a great fan of the action films that formed a majority of the collection, so logically the pile was Mokuba's). Kaiba stood in the doorway of one of his many lounges, looking at Yugi with an unreadable expression on his face.

Yugi eased out of the collection. "…You scolded me last time I was here for not taking you literally enough." Yugi had visited the other a few times since Kaiba had dragged him from the fountain – they got along better now they were both a little older, a lot smarter.

"Hm," Kaiba let out a noncommittal noise, moving into the room and taking a seat on an empty sofa. "You want to watch a movie?"

"Not really…"

A gesture to the mess Yugi had made on the floor. "Then why the perusal?"

"Curiosity?"

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"I have eight lives left to go."

Kaiba didn't laugh. "Mouto -"

Yugi cut him off. "I never thanked you, did I, for saving my life? It…it was good of you, and you've been to so much trouble for me and – thank you, I suppose." The youth bowed his head. "Thank you so very much, Kaiba."

"Mouto…" Kaiba's eyes were so very _blue, _"I could spend my whole life repaying you for what you and your other half have done for Mokuba and I in the past and still not cover even half of my debts to you."

Yugi shook his head. "Kaiba…you don't owe me anything. All I've ever asked from you is your friendship –that's more than enough."

Kaiba looked at him, solidly. Yugi looked back.

"…If that's what you want."

* * *

_I can feel things coming together, and He agrees with me. I am We and We are I, and He's promised me, or perhaps I now have promised myself –_

_It's so much easier to play games when you've knocked the King off the board and confused the Queen so utterly she spins around in circles and gets nowhere at all. It's so much easier, and I press myself to the surface of the looking-glass the world beyond suddenly seems so much brighter to me, even as my poor disturbed host gets dimmer by the moment…_

_Oh, well; there are casualties in any war. The old host shall be Ours, and then soon -_

* * *

Ryou remained alone in his room, staring at the ceiling with half of his vision. Half of his vision, halfway between heaven and halfway between hell. Ever since he was a child he'd seen his visions battling things out, his sight showing him things others could never, never see. Ryou privately thought he was cursed.

Tilting his head to the left, Ryou saw the new mirror they'd hung on his wall, replacing the old one that had used to be in his ward's adjoining bathroom. Since he was strapped own he was allowed one – the doctors thought it was a good idea to show him what he'd done to himself, guilt himself into sanity.

The doctors were idiots.

Ryou looked into the mirror, and saw his own face, overlaid with another's. He saw the other face, and he didn't just think he was cursed anymore. He _knew _he was.

* * *

**Forty-eighth day of observation:**

**No progress with the patient. He still refuses food, and will not speak. It is obvious he is declining, but into what no-one can say.**** He -**

* * *

He didn't know why he kept returning to Kaiba's. He didn't know why Kaiba kept letting him return. It was pleasant all the same.

They sat together on the sofa, Kaiba leaning slightly to the left, working on something on his laptop. Yugi, tired, dozed beside him, leaning gently on his other side. He wondered why Kaiba hadn't pushed him off yet. It was lat evening, and he should probably be heading home, but he was just…too _comfortable _to move.

Yugi yawned, raising a hand sleepily to cover his mouth.

Kaiba paused in his work, tilting his head down to look at the youth curled beside him. "Do I make a good pillow?" His question was dry, and Yugi's sheepish smile and nod in reply only caused him to raise an eyebrow. "That's good to know."

There was quiet for some time, until Yugi realised it had suddenly gotten even _quieter – _he couldn't hear the fan of Kaiba's laptop anymore, or the clicking of keys –

He looked up; saw familiar unreadable blue eyes looking down at him. "Kaiba…?"

"Would you like to stay here tonight?" The brunet extended the offer hesitantly. "You look tired, and if I let you go home like this you probably won't be breathing next time I see you."

"What," Yugi feigned shock, "you actually care enough to attend my funeral?" Kaiba scowled at him, about to snap something, but Yugi gently cut him off. "Thank you; I'd love it if I could have a room here tonight."

There was another long silence. They stared at one another – it was a pastime of theirs.

Kaiba leant down suddenly, and Yugi suddenly found the other so much _closer, _but his eyes – oh his _eyes_ – "Kaiba?" Yugi hated himself for the waver in his voice, the unsure note.

"Yugi," Kaiba had pale hands, pale skin from being inside so long, "are we friends?" His eyes were – there was something – it disturbed Yugi, and he couldn't look into them and – "You want us to be only friends?"

"Kaiba-" This wasn't Kaiba. Yugi jolted, sliding away from his friend. He didn't miss the quick scowl that flitted across the brunet's face, those shadowed, alien eyes that glared at him in the way Kaiba Seto hadn't done in a while. _Not Kaiba. _"I'll just pick any random room." He forced himself to smile quickly and fled, choosing a random bedroom and diving inside, trying to catch his breath.

He made sure to lock the door.

* * *

_It's dangerous to want. It's dangerous to desire something – desire leaves you open to manipulation. And yet people still do – we can't help it, can we. It's part of being mortal. It's part of being stupid.__ My host desires for pace; his friend desires for sense; his 'comfort' desires for…two things – he always has. The Darkness took the part of him that wanted power, and the Darkness was me then, for now I smile at this wicked, imperfect reflection before me, tall, brown-hired and blue-eyed. Darkness touched this part, this part which is now part of me, and this part is mine, Ours, and We shall use him as We see fit._

I _desire, but…my wants are locked up and guarded and kept by Him. He who wants the same as me, so that our thoughts are perfectly parallel, in sync. He cares for me, guides me, watches over me and suffers my mistakes. Together…We'll make no more. Not any more._

* * *

Yugi woke with a half-strangled scream on his lips, sitting bolt upright in his bed and clawing wildly ahead of himself in the darkness for some assailant that wasn't there. Gradually regaining his groggy wits he lowered his hands, noting there was…there was nothing around him but the room he was sleeping in at Kaiba's mansion, a comforting room, filled with nothing but familiar objects.

_Just a nightmare. _Just _another _nightmare.

Slowly, Yugi's heart rate slowed, the thundering behind his ribcage easing as he calmed. It was alright; he was safe. There was nothing to fear; there was nothing around him.

It was just the dark.

* * *

**Forty-ninth ****day of observation:**

**- ****No entry -**

* * *

Yugi stumbled from the bed he'd spent the night in, somehow managing a roughly straight line to get into the en-suite bathroom. There he splashed cold water on his face, trying to wake himself up, rubbing bleary eyes. When he felt somewhat more human he looked up –

The bathroom mirror stared back at him, and Ryou's face. Ryou, the porcelain doll who wept tears of blood. Ryou, pale, poor Ryou –

Yugi's breath caught. This was impossible. It was physically impossible. He couldn't – he shouldn't be able to – and yet he'd been chased by shadows and dark things all – all –

His chest felt tight, painfully so.

Yugi dressed quickly, suddenly deeply worried. He dressed quickly and left the Kaiba manor without so much as a by-your-leave, and completely missed the other that slipped after him.

Yugi ran to Ryou.

* * *

_Dangerous, dangerous desire, painful want, agonising need. Our will, and Our dreams, and He promised me they'll be true in such a while and –_

_Already, the darkness gathers around the pale host and the pieces draw together to play, and I can feel my looking-glass shatter and all the pieces spin and –_

_Ryou, if you desire peace, stop breathing. It would be easiest that way, idiot child._

_Everyone has desires, and look how they conflict. Tragic. _

_Whose desire is strongest?_

* * *

Yugi ran, and ran, and ran. He ignored the fact there was no receptionist at the institute's front, ignored the fact he hadn't filled in any paperwork, ignored the fact the floor was slick and red with liquid and – and – there was no _sound _in the institute. No talking, no murmuring, no beeping, no screaming. No sound at all, save for the slap of Yugi's feet on the wet ground.

His chest still hurt. His chest hurt, and his sides ached, but all Yugi could think of was Ryou and _oh, dear God let Ryou be alright _because – because –

The institute was red and black, and if Yugi looked right, if he looked left, if he looked anywhere but to Ryou's room he would've seen the swirling shadows with their endless fangs and grins, and their glowing eyes straight from Hell itself. He would've seen the other patients being slowly devoured by those teeth, smothered, but the life had been choked out of them so very long ago –

Oh, had there only been one with the sight to _see _to have noticed!

Yugi didn't look right. Yugi didn't look left. Yugi looked only in front, and the smirking shadows parted before him to let him through. Yugi was expected.

Yugi's personal shadow slipped after him, and Yugi never noticed.

Ryou's room was full of darkness. Yugi had expected this, almost, had expected the cold shadows grinning and coiling about is feet, the comatose Ryou still strapped down to his bed.

"Ryou." Yugi stomped through the shadows, hurrying to his friend's side. "_Ryou."_

No reply, only the hissed mocking of the darkness.

"_Ryou, speak to me!" _

"He can't."

Yugi jolted at the new voice, the new words, the cold dread that came with them –

He spun around. "You!"

"You know," the one known as Yami Bakura looked at him rather flatly, "that's rather a rude way to greet someone." The former thief stood on the other side of the bed, one pale hand resting on Ryou's mirror, which hung upon the wall there.

"What have you _done?"_

Bakura swept his hand across the room, gesturing everything in sight. "I would have thought that was rather obvious."

"_Why?"_

Cold eyes, amber eyes that still gleamed with the light of the Millennium Ring that was buried under the sands so very far away, glared at him. "I wanted my freedom, and this was the way to get it."

"You selfish-!" Yugi lunged for the man-spirit-_monster, _but felt strong arms wrap around him from behind, holding him tightly, cruelly. Yugi fought, trying to get free, but involuntarily caught sight of his captor. "_Kaiba?!" _This didn't make sense. Kaiba wouldn't – he caught sight of the other's eyes, shadowed, smoke with darkness, nearly black. _Not Kaiba. _Yugi looked at Bakura, voice desperate. "What have you done with Kaiba?"

"Nothing he didn't do himself a long time ago, I assure you." Bakura's reply did _not _leave Yugi reassured – the thief smirked when he saw the younger's eyebrows draw down in a snarl. "Everyone has a bit of darkness in them and it's _so _much fun to play with – don't you think?"

Yugi didn't answer – looking past Bakura, at Ryou. The albino was out cold, curled up on his side on his hospital bed, breathing shallow. He was so _white, _completely devoid of colour.

"You're bleeding him dry, whatever you're doing…"

"He's my host; it's his duty." Bakura dismissed the comment.

"He'll die!"

"…So? I'm counting on it." Bakura smirked when Yugi let out a hiss. "My life will replace his own – once he is fully gone, I am fully here and Zorc -" he hesitated, before breaking out into a more natural smile, "He has promised me great things."

"You're a deluded _fool," _Yugi snapped angrily. "He's a monster!"

"He is _me."_

_We are I. I am We. _

"Bakura-!"

"Hush." Kaiba's hand cradled the back of Yugi's head, fingers tenderly cupping delicate bone.

That gentleness scared Yugi more than anything else had, considering the situation. "Be quiet, Yugi. Things will be fine soon."

"No they will _not-!"_

The shadows whirled faster.

Bakura shrugged at the smallest of them. "I want to kill Ryou, so our desires conflict – such a pity. You desire to protect, to be 'a true friend'." Bakura sneered, before tilting his head to Kaiba. "He desires _you, _the gods only know why. This weakling," that mocking gaze slid to the dying Ryou, still breathing – barely – soft, shallow breaths on the bed, "desires peace. _I _desire…ah…"

"You bloody -! You're not _seriously _after some creature from – you might as well date the Devil!" Although Zorc was worse. "Bakura, don't be a fool!"

Bakura smirked, not answering, and Yugi saw the gleam of a blade in his hand.

_Whose desire is strongest?_

"Bakura – _no!"_

Yugi began struggling harder, trying to be free of Kaiba, trying to get to shallowly-breathing, defenceless Ryou."Let _go _of me! Ryou, Ryou – _Ryou-!"_

_Whose desire is strongest?_

_We are I. I am We. _

_As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shalt be –_

The mirror gleamed behind them on the wall, just as the knife gleamed in Bakura's hand, and all the hopes of the world lay there, even as darkness caught the world, snared Kaiba, locked Yugi up and attached Ryou to a thread of life –

Yugi shut his eyes and the world ended, and the darkness followed him there.


End file.
